Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize