you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize