My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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