so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
