last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
