Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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