how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
where are you?
Hypothermia
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
