Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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