what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
