I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
