ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
