i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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