so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
They are going to name an STD after you.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
