Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Randomize
