420 ftw
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
