You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
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