I'm going to jail i love you
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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