I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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