He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
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Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize