Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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