yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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