When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
