You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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