well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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