Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I can feel your judgement through the phone
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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