all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
