I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
