member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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