I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
tell me about the fingering
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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