I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
