hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
