I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
