So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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