Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
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You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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