my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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