Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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