He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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