You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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