So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
