Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
