oh god the rape fog is back!
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
