Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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