The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
