I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
