New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize