I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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