O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
