but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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