Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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