DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
