Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
