Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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