You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
i believe in u and ur pee
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
