just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
