He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
