im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
