Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
