"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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