check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
