Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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