I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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