Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
