You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
