dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
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he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
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I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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