It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
