I wish I could teleport
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
