have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
