why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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