My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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